Reason and Faith

A week or so ago I went through some extremely difficult days of confusion in my identity and my beliefs. When I say that, I mean that most people define themselves by what their beliefs are and what they do, and I was crawling through my own heart trying to find what was there. What I found were two people: Marcus of reason and Marcus of faith. These too guys work separately in the office and report to me only when I call upon them for answers.

Reason is very organized, clean, and proper. He abides by social norms and can give justification for why he acts the way he acts, talks the way he talks, and goes where he goes. He constantly thinks about how things work, like how to be successful or how to get a girl. He gives me logical answers for my questions and excels in helping me prepare for most of my endeavors.

Faith is extremely different. He lacks preparation, organization, and cleanliness, but what he is good for is explaining why questions, like "why do I long for love?" or "why is that beautiful?" He excels in helping me connect emotionally and spiritually to nature, people, and God.

Reason and Faith normally stay clear of each other as to avoid confrontation. However, sometimes I feel the need to call upon both for the same question. The war began with the question, "How did we get here?"

Upon asking this question, Reason did research to find an answer. He came up with a few scientific theories, such as the Big Bang, Evolution, Mutation, and Natural Selection.

Faith didn't want to do research but instead tried his best to answer the question using his opinions. He said God created us and because of that we are his children and we are cherished.

Next I asked "What's the evidence for these claims?" Faith shrugged, and Reason stepped up because he thought that he had evidence on his side. He started off sentences with "Scientists have concluded from the data..." and for the most part, He made sense. Faith sat in silence horrified that he didn't have knowledge or history of experiments that tested the existence of a divine being.

I started becoming sick with the idea that my God didn't exist, but unlike most people, I wanted to know the truth wherever the truth lead me, and it felt like I was being lead away from God being the answer. I was angry. I felt betrayed and deceived. Where's the proof? Do I believe in a God because I was born into it, or has he given evidence of his existence? I cannot enslave my senses and be blinded by faith.

I drowned in these thoughts for about 3 days, when suddenly I had moment of clarity. I decided to leave my emotions at the door and sit down with my friends Reason and Faith. I started asking "Why?" and "What?" muddled in with the "How?"

How did the universe begin?
"Possibly the Big Bang, but there are a few other noted scientific explanations," answered Reason.

Is the Earth special?
"Yes. There are a lot of physics involved in why the earth can sustain life versus other planets, and scientists have concluded that we are very rare and lucky to have one planet that meets all the requirements of the Universe. If one of these laws were lost, life could not exist on earth. It's also up for debate whether or not there's a another planet in the Universe that even contains life forms."

How did humans get on Earth?
"Scientists use Evolution as an explanation. They say there was originally one cell that split into billions of cells. Overtime these cells formed the first creatures on earth, which are said to be jellyfish-like animals and also simple plants. Over time, mutation caused these animals and plants to change into different and more complex animals and plants. Thus, life becomes diverse on earth, and eventually down a time line of ancestors we get humans."

What do scientists say caused the Big Bang?
"No one really has an answer for that yet."

How did the first living cell get on earth?
"Scientists can't explain exactly what happened yet. They have done a few experiments dealing with the earth's atmosphere and the forming of amino acids, but they can't explain how the earth went from no life to life."

Why are humans so different from every other life form? Why do we have the ability to love, to make music and art, and to appreciate what we call beauty?
Reason tried to squeak out an answer "We just are..."
However, these last few answers weren't good enough for me.
Faith had sat quietly while Reason dug himself into a hole when it had no answers left. After days of silence, Faith chimed in with logical answers of his own.

"If the Big Bang was the start of the Universe, and that's a big if, something had to cause it. The Universe has been designed with laws. Something had to define those laws that we have no control over. If evolution is the explanation for human life forms, which there are many arguments against Darwinian evolution and it's validity of being the explanation for the complexity and diversity of life on earth, something had to start life with the first cell, and there are no natural causes that can explain it. Lastly, humans have the abilities to love, create, and admire because they were designed to do so. If they were simply animals, these ideas would not exist. There is no scientific explanation for love, beauty, or even light, for that matter, yet only fools would deny that these things exist. You have to have faith that some things cannot and will not be explained through science or reason and yet they do not cease to be real."

These were the conclusions that I came up with after my reason and my faith merged. Sometimes I think we challenge other people with one or the other when they go together so beautifully, or at least in my opinion. One does not necessarily disprove the other.

I am aware that this doesn't explain my reasoning in choosing Christian Spirituality over other theologies, but the foundation for any religion or faith is the existence of some sort of divine being or beings. If you don't first start with the existence of a creator, then you can't come to conclusion that you've found the right one.